2023-09-30

• I’m still in something of a funk in life. One thing to note that is kind of troubling is that I don’t feel like I have a good answer to “when you imagine a world where you are happy and excited, what is different about that world compared with this world?” I don’t really have an answer to that. Maybe it’s that people are kinder and more curious. I’m not sure that it’s a big problem that I don’t have a good answer. It seems fine to hold an “I’ll know it when I see it approach” to finding the next thing to be excited about. But I also recognize that if I had a good, clear answer to this question, I could lean into my own ability to make change the world around me to bring me closer to that world. I’ll chew on it more, maybe I’ll come up with something good.
  
• I’m having a hard time figuring out a perf issue with PadDaddy. Maybe the problem is I’m doing like 7 joins in this SQL query. But is 7 a lot? Feels like there’s gotta be places running much bigger queries and getting faster results.

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